Opinion
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| | Political School..! | | | Idreamt that finally our country decided to start a special school to groom politicians. In the dream I paid a visit to a class: "Goodmorning my dear legislators," said the professor of the special classes as he took his first class.
"Arrey Hindi mey bolo yaar. What you think, this is America?" shouted an MLA from the northern cow belt. "You are insulting my beloved mother's tongue. The very tongue that taught me to say my first word; 'ma', the tongue that kissed my first hurt on my head. See this scar, it is not knife wound, mother dropped me on head when I was baby, then kissed me there. She says I was different baby after that fall. Now you want to insult my mother's tongue? Hindi mey bath karo!"
“Tamile' solu," shouted an angry young member from the south, furiously pulling on his five yard moustache, till it came unstuck in his hand. "I don't want your mother's tongue, I want only my ammas. Tamil is our heritage. From Thiru Valluvar to Thiru Veerapan, from Periyar to Pink Floyd, Cholas to Chutney sambar, Pandyas to puree potato, we will die for Tamil. Do not impose Hindi on us, we will martyr for our language. I will immolate myself here itself or go on fast like Anna. Down, down Hindi…!"
An angry lady member bristled with rage as she walked up to the professor, "you called me a dear?"
"I just said good morning dear legislators,' whispered the startled teacher.
"My modesty!' screamed the ageing member of the fairer sex. " You have outraged my modesty. I will throw this chappal at you, not this one, it is from Paris. But outside I will tell party members to blacken your face. This is India, women are godessess, only in India we bring up women's reservation bill, every year. Call the police. Rape! Assault! Call the police!"
"Who let you into the House?" asked an old member, eight times elected from the hills of dacoit land. " Who let you inside? You do not have the qualification to enter this sacred place. I am nursery failed. This my party chief is second standard failed, my colleague is kindergarten failed. And you? You do not look like fail type. How you can enter this special place? How?"
"American infiltrator," shouted a member form the commie fold. "We do not want your western culture. Our country has its own tradition.."
"Like this, " shouted one member as he hurled a mike at the professor.
"And this," shouted another as he walked up the aisle and landed a blow on the teacher's head.
"Or this," shouted the woman member as she tore her blouse and shouted, rape!
The members loaded the battered remains of the professor onto a stretcher and went back to their seats as I screamed and woke up from my nightmare.
bobsbanter@gmail.com |
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